Lair of the White Worm

A new-to-me horror (well, for some values of horror) movie that TCM showed last year during their annual October horror-fest was a 1980s British film, The Lair of the White Worm. The movie's synopsis sounded interesting to me, so I recorded it, and eventually got around to watching it.

The movie starts off at a bed-and-breakfast being operated, not particularly successfully, by the Trent sisters, Eve (Catherine Oxenberg) and Mary (Sammi Davis). Visiting, and doing some digging nearby, is archaeology student Angus Flint. He digs up some Roman coins, but more oddly, what looks like bones from some sort of snake-like creature that's much too large to be anything that would naturally appear in this part of northeastern England. However, there is one possibility. There's an old legend of the "d'Ampton worm". Sometime in the middle ages, a d'Ampton ancestor killed a worm-like animal that was menacing the region, and this made the d'Amptons lords of the manor to this day. Perhaps there's some truth behind the legend.

The current head of the d'Ampton line is Lord James d'Ampton (Hugh Grant in an early role), who still owns a lot of the land and has tenant farmers. He's never really believed the legend, but this skull may just change his mind. There's also more evidence that comes out that might get him to believe as well, and put the people on his lands in grave danger.

Kevin is an adolescent rambler hiking through the area when he gets picked up by Lady Syvlia (Amanda Donohoe), who lives in another manor house in the area. Sylvia takes him back to her place, Temple House, and treats him like this is going to be some wild sex fantasy. Oh, it's wild, all right, only it's not going to be a sex fantasy for Kevin. Instead, Sylvia is going to inject some sort of venom into him and then bite him with her fangs, showing that she's some sort of snake hybrid!

This is getting weird, and it's only going to get weirder. The legend of the d'Ampton worm involves decidedly non-Christian snake worship, and an undead acolyte in Sylvia who might only be able to be killed in a certain way. And, she's got certain people in the area she decidedly wants to turn into similar snake-like creatures with her bite. James and Angus most definitely don't want to become snakes, so when they figure out that the legend might be real, they have to come up with a way to stop Sylvia before she destroys too many other people.

The Lair of the White Worm is based in part on a Bram Stoker story, and in part on some traditional legends from the part of England where the movie is set. It's definitely a weird little movie, but at the same time it's one that I found quite entertaining precisely because it's so nuts. Sure, if you were to try to analyse the plot rationally you'd find something that makes little sense, but then I don't think the classic Hammer horror films make all that much sense either if you're trying to watch them seriously. Just sit back and enjoy the off-kilter ride, and I think you'll have fun.