Sometimes lousy, sometimes fun

Victor Mature famously said something to the effect of, "I'm not a very good actor, and I've got 68 movies to prove it!" I may have gotten the number wrong, as I think I've seen different numbers cited; in any case, it's the sentiment that counts. I can't help but think one of the movies Mature might have had in mind when he made the comment was The Tartars.

Mature plays Oleg, leader a band of Vikings somehwere in what would probably be northwest Russia around the end of the first milennium AD. They've been living in peace, and consider the local Slavs (technically not yet Russians at the time) their friends. The Tartars, however, don't like the Slavs. Togrul (Folco Lulli; you probably won't recognize the names of a lot of the cast because they're Italians in what was an international co-production; more on that later), chief of one small band of the Tartars, meets with Oleg trying to convince Oleg to join with the Tartars against the Slavs. Oleg refuses, leading to a battle in which Togrul is killed and his daughter Samia (Bella Cortez) is taken hostage.

Togrul's brother Burundai (Orson Welles) is understandably pissed off. Samia was betrothed to Togrul and Burundai's lord, the big leader of the Tartars, who we can guess isn't going to be happy either with losing a potential wife. Burundai responds by attacking a Viking ship, kidnapping Oleg's wife Helga (Liana Orfei). The obvious solution is a hostage exchange, after which everybody can live happily ever after.

Yeah, right. While lovely Samia has been in captivity with the Vikings, she hasn't particularly liked them. However, Oleg's kid brother Eric (Luciano Marin) has taken a liking to Samia. And after a while, he's able to break down her resistance. So when the time comes for the hostage exchange, Samia and especially Eric say no dice. The fact that Eric has knocked up Samia certainly doesn't help.

Meanwhile, back at Burundai's palace, he's been trying to extract information from Helga about the Viking's manpower, since, if they're not going to help him attack the Slavs, he might as well just annihilate the Vikings, too. Helga refuses; when the time comes for the hostage exchange, it's botched and poor Helga falls to her death.

There's still the matter of Eric and Samia; the Vikings hold a vote on whether to let them get married or kill them, but before the vote can be decided, the Tartars attack, setting up the climax.

Hoo-boy is The Tartars a silly movie. Poor Victor Mature has to wear that ridiculously skimpy outfit that he's much too old for. As for Orson Welles, I can't help but think that the only reason he made this movie is for the paycheck. He was probably tying to get one or another of his movies made; based on the date The Tartars was released, I'm guessing it would be funding for The Trial. He's well into the Fat Orson phase, sleepwalking through a terrible role.

The two Americans don't mesh well with the Italian cast, but at least the location work (in Yugoslavia, another of those co-productions of the early 1960s) is nice. The movie is only 83 minutes, yet it feels longer because of an extended dance sequence and a bunch of shots of the Tartars chasing the Vikings or vice versa which look like they're there to pad the running time.

Although The Tartars is from a technical standpoint a fairly lousy film, it's fun for one watch because of what a mess it is. It got a release in the US courtesy of MGM, which is how it's ended up on DVD courtesy of the Warner Archive.