Twins

Going through the more recent movies I've been recording courtesy of the three-month free preview of the Showtime channels, I recently watched the 1980s buddy comedy Twins. It's scheduled to be on a couple of times this week, starting with Nov. 2 at 11:05 PM on Showtime Family. (At, least according to the DirecTV guide; Titan TV lists the channel in that slot as Showtime Women. In any case, it's got another airing on Nov. 4 and one on Nov. 8.)

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Julius Benedict, who at the start of the movie is celebrating his 35th birthday. He's been working all his life as a research assistant to some scientist who has a super-secret laboratory on a very isolated island in the South Pacific. The scientist tells the truth to Julius: Julius was the result of an experiment in which six "superior" beings were mated with an otherwise ordinary woman to try to produce a new super-intelligent physical specimen. The result was Julius.

However, Julius wasn't the only result. A minute after he was born came Vincent (Danny DeVito); after Vincent was born Mom died and Julius was placed with the scientist, while Vincent was sent to an orphanage. The explanation for how two actors as different in terms of appearance as Schwarzenegger and DeVito wound up twins isn't simply that they were fraternal twins, which would make sense if you consider that it wasn't uncommon in earlier days of IVF to put multiple fertilized egg cells into the uterus in the hopes that at least one would implant. Instead, it's claimed that Vincent somehow got "all the bad stuff" as though the embryo split and they're supposed to be identical twins.

At any rate, Julius sets off for the United States to try to find Vincent. We of course see Vincent first. He's an alleged agent in the Hollywood sense, except that he doesn't seem to have anybody to represent, leaving him horribly in debt to the Klanes. To try to pay off those debts, he's got a friend (David Caruso before NYPD Blue) at LAX who informs him when a nice car is put into long-term parking so that Vincent can steal them and sell them for quick cash. Vincent also has a girlfriend in Linda Mason (Chloe Webb) who just can't bring herself to dump Vincent despite her sister Marnie's (Kelly Preston) common sense in the matter).

Soon enough, the book-smart but naïve Julius -- he got all of his knolwedge from books but doesn't know things like slang or modern-day conveniences, having lived on that South Pacific island for 35 years -- shows up and finds Vincent, now in jail over unpaid parking tickets. Vincent doesn't believe it when Julius claims to be his brother, at least not at first. But eventually Julius is able to convince him. Besides, Julius is handy to have around, since he's able to put a whupping on the Klanes when they try to assault Vincent.

Julius is hoping to get out to Los Alamos, NM, to learn more about the experiment that created him and Vincent. Vincent, however, has more pressing concerns. The latest car he's stolen is a Cadillac with a valuable invention in the trunk. Beetroot McKinley (Trey Wilson), a businessman in Houston, wants that invention, and is willing to pay millions for it. Vincent stole the car from the courier who was supposed to deliver it, but when he learns that McKinley is willing to pay millions, not just thousands, he decides to drive off for Houston. Julius comes along, as do the Mason sisters, Marnie having fallen in love with Julius by this time.

Much of the humor in Twins is based on the utter implausibility of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito having come from the same parents, let alone being identical twins. But the movie eventually grows into something that, while fairly predictable, has some more heart than that. There's nothing new here, but Twins hits all the genre notes well enough, while at the same time being a bit of a nostalgic look back at the late 1980s. It's pleasant enough entertainment, and there's nothing wrong with not trying to be anything more than that.