Another of the movies I found available for free on one or another of the streaming services that sounded like it would be fun for TCM's Underground if that programming block were still around is Solarbabies. So I watched it in order to be able to do a review here.
The movie is set in some distant future, when somehow or other that the opening narration didn't quite explain, the Earth's oceans have gone dry and all the water is somewhere, which is pretty damn amazing since the oceans covered 70% of the planet's surface. However, there's legend of a being from outer space named Bodhi who might be able to save mankind, or at least the portion of mankind that isn't making out like a bandit from the situation. After all, with a shortage of a critical substance like water, you know that there are going to be people who try to exploit that, and they're going to be the de facto government.
Meanwhile, this government, called the Eco-Protectorate, in addition to rationing out the water takes orphaned children and puts them in orphanages that make Oliver Twist look almost luxurious, also indoctrinating these children into becoming the next generation of enforcers for the Eco-Protectorate. As a form of stress release, the kids get to play a sport called "skateball" that looks half like lacrosse, and half like roller derby. The orphanage at the heart of the story has a team called the Solarbabies, and as the movie opens they've accepted a challenge from a team from another orphanage, to play an unsanctioned match at night with no rules in an abandoned arena.
The authorities get wind of this, and eventually show up to try to arrest the teens for doing something highly illegal. The youngest of the orphans, Daniel (Lukas Haas), who is effectively the Solarbabies' mascot, flees into a cave. There, he finds a glowing orb that seems to have the power of communication. In talking to the orb, he discovers that it claims to be Bodhi. And it certainly does have decided non-human powers, curing Daniel of his deafness such that he doesn't need to use the mechanical hearing device he normally wears.
Daniel brings Bodhi back to his living quarters, which he shares with the rest of the Solarbabies: nominal leader Jason (Jason Patric); Jason's eventual girlfriend Terra (Jami Gertz); sciencey Metron (James LeGros); Tug and Rabbit rounding out the team. They don't believe Daniel at first, but considering that he's had his deafness cured and then after they see some of the things Bodhi can do, they begin to believe.
However, word somehow gets out and other people want Bodhi either for their own power, or so that they can destroy Bodhi because they see it as a threat to their power. Eventually Bodhi gets stolen and taken to a research facility for what is nominally research, but is in fact an attempt to destroy Bodhi. The Solarbabies have to take off through the desert on their roller skates in search of Bodhi. The Eco-Protectorate's storm troopers, as you might guess, are in close pursuit. If they have this much power to remake the world, you have to wonder how a half-dozen meddling kids are able to thwart their plans.
Solarbabies is for the most part an absolute mess, and it's easy to see why, upon its release, critics panned it mercilessly. It's the sort of movie that should have become a bigger cult classic than it is. After all, so much of the film is laughable, with plot strands that don't make sense together and terrible dialogue. But at the same time, as I was watching it I couldn't help but think of the skateboarders in Gleaming the Cube and that I actually quite preferred Gleaming the Cube. I think the big reason why is that to me, there's something about Gleaming the Cube that has more charm, along with a motivation for the main character that is at least grounded in reality. Solarbabies feels as though it's trying to be too serious and too adventurous for its own good.
Not that Solarbabies is without its own charms. In fact, if you're in the right mood it's a lot of fun just because of how bad it is. But it could have been a so much better form of bad.
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