A movie I've briefly mentioned several times in conjunction with what FXM will be showing for one of the military holidays is All Hands on Deck. I added it to my DVR the last time it aired so that I could do a full-length post on it the next time it aired. That next airing is coming up tomorrow (Nov. 25) at 11:45 AM.
The movie starts off with opening credits superimposed over a navy vessel plowing through the ocean on one side, with a picture-in-picture of the movie's star, Pat Boone, singing the film's title song. After the credits, the print remains in the proper Cinemascope aspect ratio, which is a nice thing, with a narrator telling us about the navy yards in Long Beach, CA. One of the ships in for repair is the one on which Boone's character, Lt. Vic Donald, serves as a junior officer under Lt. Cmdr. O'Gara (Dennis O'Keefe). O'Gara seems to take being on a ship as a reason to fish from the railing, constantly trying and failing to get a fish; Donald is still on board because he's partly responsible for Christmas for those who can't get leave to go home.
The enlisted crew take the time to go see a movie, which happens to be standard-issue cowboys and Indians stuff. There's one Indian among the enlisted men, Shrieking Eagle Garfield (Buddy Hackett, and yes, the thought of Buddy Hackett playing a member of the Chickasaw is ridiculous), and he's proud enough of his heritage that he gets angry at the negative portrayals of them on screen. Angry, enough, to cause a ton of damage to the theater and require Donald's attention. In trying to corral Garfield, Donald and his men accidentally bowl over someone else. That someone is a reporter... and a woman: Sally Hobson (Barbara Eden, with a terrible tightly-curled hairdo). Needless to say, despite this inauspicious first meeting, Vic and Sally are going to fall in love.
But their route to winding up together in the final reel isn't going to be so straightforward. Although Vic is land-based for now, eventually the repairs to the ship are going to be finished and they're going to be putting out to sea again, for a fairly substantial tour. And to make matters worse, Garfield decides that he's going to bring a live turkey aboard for reasons that make no real sense although he and Donald pass it off as the ship's new mascot, which gets some positive attention from at least one admiral.
Not all of the admirals, however, as O'Gara's commanding officer, Adm. Bintle (Gale Gordon), wants to fail O'Gara on a surprise inspection since O'Gara's ship -- well, specifically Garfield -- cause all sorts of trouble for Bintle.
The material is decidedly second-rate. Pat Boone isn't the world's greatest actor, but the uniform suits him and he's exceedingly photogenic here. He gets a bunch of opportunities to sing, and while none of the songs are memorable, they fit his vocal stylings. The producers did pick a cast adept at comedy; in addition to those I've mentioned there's also a small role for Ann B. Davis as Sally's friend. But ultimately All Hands on Deck is one of those movies to see once and then not again, having crossed it off the list of movies sitting on the DVR.
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